Add fresh cranberries, green onions, cilantro, seeded jalapeño, sugar, lime juice, and salt to a food processor. Pulse 10–12 times until finely chopped (do not purée).
Transfer cranberry salsa to a bowl, cover, and refrigerate for at least 1 hour so flavors meld.
Beat softened cream cheese and sour cream with a hand mixer for 2 minutes until fluffy, then spread into a shallow serving dish.
Use a slotted spoon to drain excess juice from the cranberry relish, spoon generously over the whipped cream cheese, and serve with buttery crackers!